Thank You, Max

You know, it's a funny thing. No one knows as much about parenting as people who DON'T HAVE KIDS. Before I had Max I used to have ideas about how I would always be the one in charge. These little creatures have a way of humbling you.

There are times when I think Max is my karmic lesson. I was the most awesome mom EVER, before I had him. I knew EVERYTHING! He was going to sleep like this, and act like that, and I would play with him this way, and basically my life would be exactly the same except that I'd have a little mini-me along for the ride.

Ha ha, and also, HA. Instead, he's a little despot who's made a shambles of my existence. My old life was destroyed in one shocking swoop and in its place is a new existence with him at the center. He's not always willing to go along with whatever I want. Instead, he has his own ideas and his own little personality, and an uncanny way of making sure he gets his needs met as soon as he deems it necessary!

It makes me realize how differently things COULD have gone. I could've had one of those mellow, get-along-go-along kinds of babies who napped when he was supposed to, (though admittedly, the naptime and bedtime situations have been really smooth) and went meekly along with what I asked of him. I could've had an "easy" baby who confirmed that I knew EVERYTHING there was to know about parenting and my smugness and self-righteousness would have been permanently calcified. I would have been the person at the cocktail party telling other parents that I could solve all of the parenting problems if they would just do what I did.

Instead, I've been knocked down a few pegs. Having a challenging, spirited kid hasn't made me a better mom, but it's made me a better person. I'm more tolerant of those around me. I don't think I know everything. Any control I think I have is just an illusion. I have tremendous compassion for other parents, because now I can see how difficult this all is, and how the day-to-day stresses can wear down your ideals and make you focus on just getting through the day.

I'm no better at this parenting thing than any average schmo on the street. I'm not brilliant, or special, I'm just another mom trying her best. Thank you, Max. I'm not going to say I liked learning this lesson, but I think I needed it.